Dear small-minded bigots of the world: Don't mess with Ellen DeGeneres.
Anti-gay pastor and self-annointed "cultural commentator" Larry Tomckaz learned this the hard way when he wrote that the talk-show host pushes a "gay agenda." His "argument"? DeGeneres "celebrates her lesbianism and 'marriage' in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls."
To which DeGeneres retorted with:
"OK, let's just break this down. First of all, I'm not 'married.' I'm married. That's all. And, Larry, I don't even know what it means to celebrate my lesbianism. I mean . . . Well, I guess I do. Like that! Yay! I'm gay!"
And:
"In the article, the pastor criticizes a lot of TV shows for promoting gay agendas. He says that Glee has over five characters. Modern Family had a gay wedding. Anderson Cooper boasts about his homosexuality. If you ask me, Larry is watching a lot of gay TV. His solution is for parents to encourage their kids to watch classic TV shows like Little House on the Prairie and I Love Lucy. It's not like I Love Lucy is a great example for kids! She's shoving all that chocolate in her mouth! That's not good for kids. And then I did some research, and if you don't think Lucy and Ethel had something going on, explain this" [shows picture of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance on screen behind her]
And:
"The only way I'm trying to influence people is to be more kind and compassionate with one another. That is the message I'm sending out. I don't have an agenda."
And:
"Attention youth of the world: I want you to live your lives being exactly who you are. Be true to yourself—the most important thing is to be true to yourself. The second most important thing is that you wear Ellen underwear and only Ellen underwear."
And:
"Look into my vortex and dance with me."
The score: Ellen DeGeneres: +1 million. Larry Tomckaz and his anti-gay ilk: -1 million billion.
